Because I have seen beauty in majestic sunrises and sunsets. I have seen beauty in endless oceans of blue. I have seen beauty, and I did not see it in me.
Let me tell you that beauty was not only in the sunrise, or the ocean. It was also in the wind that pointed you to that direction. It was in the silence that filled you, while you take it all in. Beauty is not just the view. Beauty is in the moment, in reactions, in context and in making something unfamiliar, familiar.
Sometimes, beauty is not meant to be seen. Beauty is meant to be felt in connections, heard in conversations and met in happy accidents.
Because I need to belong.
We were not made as puzzle pieces that fit each others’ dents and gaps. All of us are our own beings. And that’s why Beauty is so abstract and so relative. But the understanding that beauty is unattainable is something that I cannot fathom, because although a lot of people have tried to define and have failed, although I myself cannot truly lay out the words that compose the true meaning of what beauty is, I know for a fact that Beauty is innate. Each day and each moment, we go through life adding, removing and changing the way we see things, kind of like different lenses to a camera. And what I noticed was when I was looking outward, I always found that I was lacking something. Whether it be the right skin tone, the right weight, the right clothes, I was constantly needing something. And then, I started looking inward. I stopped comparing myself to impossible standards, and instead started looking for what was important to me. That’s when I realized that I don’t need anything to belong. I don’t need anyone or anything to make me feel like I belong. Because I know that everything I needed was already inside.
And that is all that I need to know, to feel that I am my own kind of beauty.