Last year, I made a big leap and decided to shift my focus from finding a full-time job to just working as a freelance photographer/graphic designer/social media manager. And I am very thankful to get to work with amazing clients that believe in my my creative vision. However, as I progressed on to my day-to-day life, I started to question my whole belief system and I started to doubt myself. I started to become restless and frustrated about the work that I put out. The likes, the views and the impressions of the work that I put out on social media seemed to matter to me more than ever, and I started to get anxious. I started to get insecure about the work of others, and I started to desperately look for something to cling on to to make me feel like I was on top of my game, creativity wise.
It started taking a toll on me, I became irritable and sensitive. I became sad.
I looked at my camera, and remembered what it was like to have my first ever dslr (her name was Penny, and she was bright pink! 😂), and I started to remember the freedom I felt when I was just shooting, not thinking about anything. I felt this peace, like everything I see on the viewfinder is just where they’re supposed to be. Those moments were when I felt most secure. I decided I want to feel that again.
I started shooting everyday, without any goal in mind. Whether it’s with my SLR or my phone, or my polaroid, I just had to shoot like I did before. I had to unlearn, and relearn my process. (I’ll post these photos very soon! Stay tuned for updates!)
And, maybe that’s the essence of why we create. Maybe it’s about unlearning your realities and re-learning through different perspectives and fresh new visions. (Wow, that sounded so corporate 😅)